Our mind is a funny little thing, it likes to play tricks on us at the worst possible moments.  I think I want to create blog posts, talk about parties, fashion, travel and business, but the only thing I can actually do is sit here staring blankly at the screen, wishing I was back in LA laying on the beach and trying to remind myself to breathe. 

For the majority of this year, my life consisted of sitting in the hospital beside with my dad, dealing with his doctors and trying to heal him through every way possible.  But now, these past 2 months have been spent trying to cope with the loss of him. How do I move on? What do I do now? I'm numb and completely lost. Should I be pressuring myself to figure it out?  Maybe the pressure I always put on myself is the first thing I will get rid of.  I really just think I'm in shock.  As much as I want to be on social media and inspiring you through business tips or pretty designs, I'm just not ready.  Those things are all part of who I am and what makes me happy, but in the big scheme of things, it's not what is important.  I think I need this time out to re-invent myself.  I need to take the time to practice self-love and care and plan for my future. I'm going to decide what I truly want and then make a plan to get it.  Life is too short to be mediocre. When I return back to the blog,  I hope you are still here to follow along as we share this journey together, called life.  

Words can't explain the empty hole I feel inside.  These past few months have been some of the hardest I've ever gone through.  My dad was in the hospital for over 3 months, while my brother and I took turns spending every other day there by his side.  Nothing else mattered.  My mind was being pulled in a million directions and most days, I was just going on auto-pilot.  Work projects got pushed, personal responsibilities were forgotten and the only thing we were concerned about was being his advocate and fighting for every answer we needed to save him. We tried everything we could, but in the end his body just couldn't fight anymore. My dad and I had our battles, we shared tears, we shared laughs and despite it all, we loved each other wholeheartedly. He believed in me and was so proud of every accomplishment, no matter how small.  I have his ambition and tenacity. He taught us to follow your dreams and NEVER give up.  My heart is broken, but I know he would want me to continue living loud in his honor and to always have hope.

My family and I had to start a fundraiser for my dad's funeral. I would be so grateful if you could help spread the word. CLICK HERE to share the link.